Snow days aren’t always fun days……

Well, we weren’t expecting snow in March that’s for certain!

It honestly feels like half term but without the added expensive, other than the boys eating us out of house & home.

Having snow is very much like the hottest day of the year (other then it being the coldest) everyone heads over the county park for hours of fun, but for us we haven’t been able to join.

It’s taken Teddie 4 days to go out in the snow, even when Gareth & I had a snowball fight in the garden with Harvey & Alfie Teddie wasn’t bothered in the slightest. Teddie’s fear of getting wet overrides the enjoyment of having fun in the snow.

Walking to school on Monday brought a challenge in itself. Teddie had new school shoes but wouldn’t allow them to get wet so we walked in his wellies- which is fine I hear you cry, however Teddie will not allow you to change his shoes once he’s at school, new or old ones.

We have spent the week segmenting phonics using alphablock pec cards, drawing, crying, and eating half a ton of bread!

This morning Teddie saw I was getting his pants and socks out, he came up close to me and said;

“Teddie stay with bubby (mummy)”

Having even a few days off school I fear we will be back to square one with his transition. The first day back to school after half term is normally fine but Tuesday onwards he’s normally very unsettled, this could possibly be the same next week.

Cabin fever has certain set in, I haven’t been able to get anything done as Teddie likes the laptop on, only Godsend is he never wants the Tv on!

I am well and truly over the snow, I’d like to be able to leave the village without fear of not getting back in but most of all I need the routine back for Teddie.

Leaving the house has always been a battle for Teddie if he had his way he’d stay at home in his rocket PJ’s all day every day!

We love our Bear and wouldn’t have him any other way!

Unplugging your kids, good luck……..

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I know we aren’t the only ones who have woke up first thing in the morning and thought S**t we forgot to plug the Kindle or Ipad in before we went to bed, hell is about to break out!!!

Having 3 children with roughly a 5 year age gap we have parented with & without technology.
Mobile phones had only just taken off when we had Harvey, the dark screen and the one game (snakes) was not appealing enough for me to hand the phone over to him when I needed him to be quiet, He did, however, like to use my brick of a phone as a teething soother!

Even years later Harvey never had any devices as a young child nor did Alfie when he came alone.
Harvey got his first console (ps2?) when he was about 8, think it was Gareths old one we certainly didn’t go out and buy him one at that age. We brought Harvey an iPod when he was about 10 as he broke his hand & arm just as we were about to fly out to Turkey (we still went)
We then brought Harvey an iPad for Christmas when he was 11, he never asked for one but all his friends had one & we knew the secretly wanted one.

Alfie got a kindle fire on his 8th birthday & got a PS4 on his last birthday, age 10.

Oh, how times have changed since the older two were young. Homework is now online, maths test are online everything is online now, mainly, as most households have internet access in their homes.

I got a kindle fire a few years ago for my birthday, Teddie was about 2. The minute I spotted a kids game with Mickey Mouse clubhouse in it I downloaded it and handed the kindle to Teddie, BIG MISTAKE!

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Our house is now filled with stressed out kids & parents arguing over where the bloody charger is!
The kindle charger is the same as the PS4 chargers, we have 2 kindles, 2 PS4 but only 1 bloody charger. 4 iPhones, 1 iPod (still going strong) 1 iPad but only 2 chargers, got loads of plugs but no leads!!

As a rule, I don’t set a time limit on devices but what I do do is monitor the children’s behaviour when they are on it.
I wrote before about the effects screen time has on children but even if I haven’t studied it the evidence shows itself.

When the boys (Harvey & Alfie) have been on their consoles for a few hours all I hear is banging on the floor, moaning and crying. To say it wines me up would be an understatement, it boils my blood and all I wanna do is shout and screen at them. It’s a bloody game for Christ sake but, it’s important to them so I do a little (sometimes a massive) inside scream to myself and give them a warning about their anger and frustration forwards the GAME!

Just after Christmas, we stopped Teddie having any electronic devices in the morning. Teddie was getting so distressed when I was telling him to pack away his Kindle as he had school, Teddie would just say

‘No school’

As much as devices can be a lifesaver they can also be the devil!! Teddie becomes easily wound up, screams ‘it’s not working’ especially when we are out as I cannot find a bloody wifi source, the game is lagging or worse still the battery goes!!!

Every night at bedtime we remind Teddie ‘No Kindle, No laptop, No iPad. Teddie only ever has the Kindle or laptop but if we didn’t cover all devices he’ll think he can have it as we haven’t said no to it-he’s not stupid!

When Teddie has his Kindle he goes off into his own world, he completely loses sight of what is going on around him. He doesn’t interact with any of us which really makes me sad. Once the Kindle runs out of battery that’s it for the day, you generally know when that happens as he throws it in the other direction!

Since we have stopped him going on devices morning, noon & night he plays more with his bricks & certainly bangs more often!

For us this works, it may not for everyone else, we are not the perfect parents, our children will have their devices when we r at a restaurant, in the car or on a long flight but we no longer allow them to have them all day.

FYI, the 101 ideas on how to unplug your child are crap!

 

Assessment & development……….

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Haven’t blogged for a while as didn’t want to jinx anything.

A few months back Teddie was given a verbal diagnosis of autism by his lovely paediatrician- but like most things, we had hurdles in our way.

As many of you are aware Teddie has waited over a year to be seen by the child assessment unit due to Virgin Care taking over in our area.

Teddie’s paediatrician felt it was best for him to be referred back to her for a clinical diagnosis. We were told Gareth and I would need to attend a multidisciplinary hearing in a few months time.

Of course, this isn’t what happened…..

To cut a long story short Teddie’s paediatrician could no longer offer a clinical diagnosis due to changes in her department that were out of her hands (wanted to bang my head against the nearest brick wall!) we would have to wait for a child assessment appointment.

But, I can now say,

After a home visit just after Christmas, assessments in the unit & a multidisciplinary hearing yesterday we finally have the autism diagnosis in black and white.

It’s been a very long process, a process that should not take that long.

I have the up-most respect for the lovely ladies at CADU, they are trying their best for the children and their families but their hands are tied. 

26982471_10159878054880607_1913298177_oAlthough we had waited what has felt like a lifetime for this appointment, I sat in the waiting room just staring at this door. 

The other side of this door represents so much to children & their families, how can Virgin care think this service is not needed?

For us, all the waiting is finally over. we knew & had accepted Teddie was autistic a long time ago. I made it clear to the doctor we would continue to support Teddie regardless of what the outcome was after his assessments. This is not the same for all families, they struggle to come to terms with their child’s diagnosis.

Teddie didn’t need a diagnosis of ASD he already had one for complex needs but for him and his future he needed it, he deserved it.

We want Teddie to embrace who he is he’s not ‘different’ he’s autistic and we could not be prouder of him.

The child assessment unit is under review again in April, I cannot stress enough the importance of these units, for the children and their parents. The ladies are doing a fantastic job but are bearing the weight of those who feel the unit isn’t needed.

The staff at CADU are the ones receiving the frustrated phones calls from parents (normally from myself) when appointments are changed or cancelled. The situation really is out of their hands.

From a parent who has waited 15 months for an appointment that should have been within 4 months, my advice to Virgin care would be not to cancel any assessment units or services until you have a replacement service in its place. You are failing the children, their parents, their schools and their community!

For us, we want Teddie to have access to the appropriate support & resources for him to further his education in whatever setting (ideally a specialist school).

We have a referral in place for Emotional and wellbeing mental health service in the hope they can help Teddie with his severe anxieties. We also have a private referral for an SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder) diagnosis.

Although this chapter has finally closed Teddie has a long road ahead of him and more hurdles to jump.

I thank Teddie’s school every day for their help and support, we truly have the most amazing support system who are all on team Teddie! 

We are extremely proud of Teddie, he brought tears to my eyes during his assessment, he really is such a kind warm hearted bear!

We love our Bear and wouldn’t have him any other way!

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