Thank God for good makeup, otherwise, I’d look how I feel!

This week I’ve come to the conclusion I cannot do it all, I’m not the super mum people have claimed me to be in the past so I’ll let you in on a little secret…….

I just don’t care. The boys possibly wear the same pair of socks twice in a row maybe longer, mainly because I hate socks, I hate looking for them, I hate pairing them up, I.HATE.SOCKS.

Homework. I used to do the Harvey & Alfies (mainly Alfie) homework for them, I’d sit and glue a million cocktail sticks to a cardboard box to make a miniature Big Ben even though the homework instructions said to draw it. Them days have well and truly gone, If Alfie’s homework isn’t done it’s his issue, not mine I’m over sitting up the table while he’s on his PS4 chatting with God knows who online.

Saturdays. We very rarely get dressed and hardly ever leave the house. Harvey & Alfie sit on their PS4/Xbox most of the day playing games that are possibly unsuitable for their age but its two fewer children hanging around my feet annoying me!!

Earphones. I brought Teddie some earphones because I cannot cope with the constant noise coming from his Kindle, I cannot describe the sound other then horrendous if I hear it for much longer I may start headbutting the wall to ease the pain!!!!!!

Washing up. I go to bed sometimes and leave the dinner plates by the sink or I throw the dishes into the sink to “soak” but really my thinking behind the “soak” is it will be easier for Gareth to wash them up in the morning!

Sofa. Once my bum hits the sofa at night it never ends well, within 10 minutes I’m out for the count, If Gareth brings the duvet down I’ll be asleep within seconds! I very rarely watch TV at night, Thank God for catch up!!

Pj’s. I am in my PJ’s before all the boys most night, sometimes I put my PJ’s back on after the morning school run if I’m working on the laptop all day. Alfie has slept in his school shorts a few times this week, I would like to say he has put clean ones on the next morning but I’m not overly confident he has! Teddie keeps his uniform on until he literally climbs into bed as if we put PJ’s on any earlier he’ll have a shit fit as he’ll think he’s going to bed that second. Harvey, he’s 14 enough said!

 

The reasons:

Half the reason for all the above is probably my anxiety medication, it certainly suppresses feelings of not caring about things that have bothered me before I took the tablets. Although the tablets have helped my obsession with not caring about the littlest things I still have the sense of danger in the pit of my stomach that at times can take over and stop me from doing things I want to do. I have now taken the steps and self referred to Health in mind, I have had a pre-assessment with the aim to receive some CBT (Cognitive behavioural therapy) which I laugh about as it’s the area I’m doing my degree in. 

For anyone who needs help, please don’t suffer in silence, tell someone how your feeling or write it down as it honestly feels like a weight, although only slightly has been lifted. Contact health in mind!