The car is all packed and we are ready to go, We are off on our first ever U.K holiday travelling 305 miles to Devon. (Stress levels are high right now!)

The boys have been lucky enough to travel abroad most years but we hadn’t planned on a holiday abroad this summer so we thought we would give Devon a try. 

We have no idea how Teddie will be when we are there, we have lots of days out planned and lots of swimming (all Alfie is going for). We have a backup plan for every activity so if Teddie feels he can’t do it, it will be absolutely fine!! 

The last time we went on holiday was to Turkey, We were so excited to go it was going to be like all our other holidays, maybe even better. Unfortunately, it didn’t always feel like that at times.

It was on this holiday that I first noticed Teddie’s struggles, He hated the restaurant couldn’t get out of there quick enough. Gareth and I would have to take it in turns to eat our food then swap, Some night I wouldn’t even get to eat as Teddie didn’t want to stay with Gareth.

Every meal was an issue, it became very stressful mainly because I was really concerned what people thought, I knew how much we had paid for our holiday I didn’t want people to pay all that money and hear a child every meal time. I wouldn’t make eye contact with anyone for fear I would get a look which would end with me either feeling worse than I already did or worse I shouted and screamed at them. I ended up taking my frustrations out on my parent who was with us. It is something that I am still ashamed of even now.

Going on holiday with children isn’t the easiest even without any additional needs- the holiday we had hoped for just wasn’t panning out. We just needed a tiny break from it all, even half an hour so Gareth and I could share a coffee together or even push it to eat a meal at the same time. Now I completely get it, it was my parent’s holiday and the boys are ours, I shouldn’t have expected them to help when they are enjoying spending time together. ( They did help in the end after I lost it…… big time!)

As a rule, Teddie is always with me- I think most mums will agree with me when I say the dads get to do all the fun stuff (will make out it’s a chore) with the older kids while us mums stay with the little ones. I have told Gareth this is NOT happening on this holiday, I like fun stuff as well!!!

Will keep you all posted on how we got on!!

We love our Bear and wouldn’t want him any other way!

Alfie is for sure my hero, I cannot put into words how much he helps me (us) every day. Alf does the normal brother duties but he just goes above and beyond them every single day. Today we went to the zoo, Teddie was busting for a wee while we were at the park but was so scared to go he ended up wetting himself- which he was mortified about. Alfie went over with some tissues and cleaned it all up then came and sat with Teddie while I sorted him out. Luckily I took Teddie’s old preschool bag and it had spare clothes in it otherwise it wouldn’t have ended so well. There were some boys (I have a better name for them) at the park who were laughing at Teddie because he wet himself, I wanted to shout and scream at them and their parents but could tell they wouldn’t do anything if I had said something, I could see Alfie thought the same & when he and Teddie went back in the park he made sure the boys didn’t say anything to Teddie.  Generally, when we need Teddie to do something or Teddie needs help Alfie will always offer to help first as he knows Teddie will do it if Alfie does it, I don’t know what I’d do without him sometimes!

I read an inspiring article this past week on Paddy McGuinness who spoke opening about his twins who have been diagnosed with having autism. There were mixed views on some of the comments he made on social media but I completely agreed with what he said and could really relate to him.  “Some days, it feels like you’re slowly drowning. It’s like you’re under water desperately swimming up to get oxygen, but never getting there.” (hello magazine) Although for us we have yet to have a diagnosis I’m certain Teddie will get an autism diagnosis.

I called CADU again this week to check an appointment hasn’t been made for while we are on holiday (will just be our luck) I spoke to a lovely lady who point blank said Teddie will not be seen any time in the next few months!! Cadu is currently under review and things are or may change. She mentioned a specialist health visitor will come out to see Teddie then there will be anything from 4-8 week wait to be seen in clinic which will probably mean Teddie waiting a whole year from the date he was first referred.

School holiday has been ok so far, “It’s raining, it’s pouring, the old man is snoring”- A song we have sung most mornings his past week, although it always turns out nice it’s like the weather secretly know it’s school holidays and enjoys installing panic in us parents when we have a day planned!  We have had a few days out so far, although we have faced a few issues with Teddie it has by no means ruin our day, we deal with them and move on.

We love our Bear and would never have him any other way!